If you have a working internet connection, you know that a ban on TikTok is imminent as we all wait for either the Supreme Court’s decision or as we wait for the 270-day extension bill to pass through Congress.

As an avid TikTok user, my opinion on whether or not it should be banned is obvious. But what I find interesting is how the approach of this ban is pushing me to finally put my work out there again.

I post content on TikTok regularly and have gathered a modest 4,000 followers in 4 years. This by no means makes me an influencer, however, it has given me refuge to embrace self-expression.

Granted, my self-expression might often be trolled on, ratioed, or labeled “cringe” by anyone not here for my work. However, that is the inevitability of creating in any medium. It doesn’t matter if it’s writing, art, photography, or content creation, whatever the medium you work in, you are prey to the vultures of trolling and bad faith criticism.

Now, as the ban looms, I realize I took what little following I had for granted, or wrote off as mediocre and unimpressive. “Oh I have 4,000 followers, who the fuck cares what I have to say?”

Well, I had 4,000 people, and like an insecure jackass, I let the trolls silence me. I did what no writer is supposed to do, I listened to the critics.

Criticism is an inevitability of creation. I know this is not exactly a fresh take, but it is an honest one. I am being candid right now. I have kept myself locked under the delusion that my words aren’t good enough for too long.

So as the app goes away, so must I continue this drive to create. So must I write again. It doesn’t matter how inconsequential it feels, I have both a right and a need to say what I think needs to be said.

I am done wallowing in self-imposed insignificance. I return to the sword that is my pen.