A Poem for Kamila Harris

This woman Kamila,

Is quite vanilla,

A senator of Law and Order.

Far from the best,

Just like the rest,

I’m not impressed with her.


Rambling About Depression in the Dark

I sit here writing this in the dark because it’s 5am and my ceiling’s light bulb just burnt out. The darkness is fitting though. It is fitting to write about one’s depression in the dark.

Mental illness is a funny thing, the slightest thing can trigger the worst of episodes. What is even worse is that when big things happen it can make the worst episodes even worse.

I will not go into excessive detail, my business is my own, but I have screwed up a few times in the last few months. No more than any other human has I think, but the list is growing. I am only human after all. I always view life’s mistakes or failures as lessons learned to be used for the future. To demand perfection of oneself is toxic and to pretend you will never make mistakes or accidentally hurt people’s feelings is just moronic. To think you will never err is to err.

But it still keeps me awake thinking about the lines I have crossed, the bridges I have burned, the damage I have done. I have heard of a psychological phenomenon called “negativity bias” which exists within us all, perhaps that is all this is. Perhaps this is just my brain choosing to remember the bad days instead of the good ones, the fuck ups instead of the successes, I honestly don’t know what the hell is going on in this organ in my skull.

Mental illness comes down to two things, our environment and what it triggers in our brain chemistry. What is “my environment”? Well I take a global perspective, I am no nationalist. The world is my home, but one reality is that I live in America 2018 which is enough of an environment to make even the perkiest yoga instructor get into goth.

Ramblings, all of these are just ramblings in the dark with no beginning, middle, or end. I’m wondering if I should even post this, if it wouldn’t be better to save it and come back to it when my head is clear. No, no, I must write and share it now, as is, I want people to know what it’s like to fight off the voices in your head that tell you to kill yourself. I want people to know what it feels like to be mad at yourself when something isn’t even your fault and to hate yourself when you know it is.

I want people to know what it is like to sit in the darkness.

Yet, oddly enough, I also do not want people to wallow in despair nor pity me. People with depression don’t need or want pity, they need support, they need patience. In due time I will go to the hardware store and get a lightbulb and I will have light again. My depression is not as simple of a fix, but I still feel the metaphor is there. The darkness is never a permanent situation, it never has been and never will be, and I tell myself that over and over again, until the light comes back on.

This is what it is like to sit in the darkness.

The Professional Protester Episode 33


California Lawmakers Attacked Our Healthcare

California’s legislature is sabotaging a bill that would guarantee all citizens in the state healthcare.

California Senate Bill 562 would guarantee complete care to all residents of California including vision, dental, and reproductive services. In a comprehensive economic study, Professor Robert Pollin of University of Massachusetts at Amherst demonstrated how under a socialized system California would save $37 billion and how under the current privatized system the state will inevitably spend 10% more on healthcare in the next few years. Meaning California will go from spending approximately $370 billion to $400 billion.

Despite this, SB 562 was shelved into a farce of a committee, the “Select Committee on Health Care Delivery Systems and Universal Coverage,” by Speaker of the House Anthony Rendon. The committee has served as a place where the voices of those who were writing and sponsoring the bill were silenced. Co-Sponsor of the bill, Assemblymember David Chiu, seems to be the only member of the committee who was genuinely intent on getting Californian’s healthcare. The California Nurses Association, the largest Nurses union in California and the loudest sponsors and advocates of the bill were not invited to speak before the committee until the last day of hearings on February 7, 2018. Despite this CNA and their coalition partners successfully filled the hearing room and multiple overflow rooms.

Jim Wood, the committee’s co-chair,had the audacity to open this hearing by praising Jeff Bezos and the Amazon corporation for their announced attempt to create a health insurance company. Committee members continually asked condescending, leading questions that CNA representatives and Professor Pollin had already answered. Rather than trying to understand the bill, most of the committee members seemed intent to find fault with it.

The committee hearings are a blatant attempt to derail the closest California has come to socialized medicine. Especially when considering the fact that multiple members of the committee have received campaign contributions from the private health industry. Jim Wood alone has collected as much as $510,797 from the private health industry, this includes donors such as Blue Shield, Walgreens, and CVS.

Corporate interests are keeping the people who live in one of the world’s largest economies away from universalized, comprehensive care. A majority of the state’s population favors universal coverage, yet the so called representatives of California seem more concerned with protecting a private system that is killing people and denying them access to care.

Sources connected to both the CNA and the legislature has also informed me that an “alternative bill” is being written as we speak, one of the things apparently being reconsidered is a law restoring the ACA individual mandate. Once again putting the burden on the consumer.

When asked “Are there any qualified economists who believe the current American healthcare system is working?” Professor Pollin delivered a confident, straight forward answer, “No.”


The Professional Protester Episode 32 : A Word about the Working Class