In the honor of my hero George Carlin and in the spirit of this incredibly negative year, here is a list of everyone I want to die a painful, undignified, and public death…
1. Donald J Trump
2. Anyone Who Supports Trump
A vote for Trump at this point means you are okay with voting for a rapist. I can’t think of anything more enabling of rape culture than that. If you think a whole half of our species is so expendable, you contribute nothing to the future. You must die.
3. NRA memebers
If you love your guns, keep them locked, unloaded, and away from a child, then Idgaf how you protect yourself or what hobbies you have. But if you are so afraid of being unarmed that you cant live without the idea of not being able to buy AR15s, then clearly YOUR access to guns is more important than the safety of OUR children. So why don’t you do us all a favor and use one of those things to blow what little brains you fuckers have out. I’m a teacher, my students safety is more important than any over compensating idiots need to feel “protected”
4. David Duke
Again, nuff said.
5. Milo Yagiounous? Yugoslavs? Yu-GI-oh?
Idk his actual name, just that jack off with the bad dye job who attacked Leslie Jones. Fuck him, let him die. He is the one gay person in the world who deserves HIV.
6. Sean Hannity
Yeah this whole thing is kind of Trump themed, but out of all the talking heads at Fox this is the man who needs to be publicly castrated the most. I honestly wonder who is wife is fucking when he goes to work. PS Hannity is the kind of guy who I bet was like Troy from Stranger Things as a kid, a big jerk but when little girls fucked him up he went crying to mommy. Conservatives were always spoiled mommas boys and snitches as kids.
7. “Pro lifer”
These people are never so much “pro life” as they are “anti choice.” And the reason they are anti choice is because they are illiterate and unscienctific. Why illiterate? Because they are anti choice because of a book where the word “abortion” doesn’t even come up, so it makes me think they haven’t actually read the damn thing. Also safe access to legal abortion reduces crime and is good for economics, if you had read Freakanomics instead of the bible you would know that.
8. Any one still keeping Gay People from getting married.
Yes Kim Davis, but not just her, several judges are still putting their ignorance (once again caused by that mistranslated rag) ahead of the law of the land. Seriously, its 2016, lets get rid of these fucks so we can start talking about real problems. Amd if your god cares more about two men or two women getting married than about Aleppo or the Zika then you need a new god.
9. Anyone who believes Cannabis is Dangerous or “Illegal for a reason.”
I just dont have words for how idiotic these people are. Idgaf what your bad experience with pot was, your bad experiences dont dictate the unviversal truths of what that plant is capable of. Stop keeping us from legalizing a plant that will not only reduce crime but increase access to biodegradable plastics, mass produced paper, and sustainable fabrics.
10. Climate change deniers
Again, its 2016, nuff said.
11. Alt Right or Anti Feminists
Basically, any white boy who is insecure about being a white boy or acknowledging white privilege.
So if you fit into any of these categories, do us all a favor, either change or kill yourself because you are holding the rest of us back. But when you do kill yourself please make the act as pitiful as your lives.