A Nice Day of Hunting

“PUT IT IN MY BUTT!” Leo screamed out, drawing the attention of everyone at the In-N-Out.  “But she said it like ‘MUT MIT MIN MY MUTT!’”

Again Leo said this so loud that everyone in the restaurant was staring at them.  The fact that Joe immediately laughed so hard he almost snorted burger meat out his nose didn’t exactly divert attention either.

But what really stuck out were their outfits.  Leo in his all black muscle tee and matching cargo army surplus pants.  Joe in his all matching tacky hunting cammo.  Both were stuffing their faces before a good day hunting.

Leo was emphatically relating to Joe the story about fucking his def ex-girlfriend.  Leo forgot to mention in his story that the only reason they started fucking was because he misinterpreted her sign language.

Leo had actually just had a bad morning.  This ex girl friend that he was talking about happened to have just broken up with him.  Leo did not take it well, to say the least.  He was in a much better mood now though.

“Thanks for the grub,” Leo reiterated, “I really appreciate it man.”

Joe raised his burger like a toast of champagne at a wedding, nodded with gratitude, then shoved as much of it as he could into his next bite.

After the breakup, Joe decided to treat his best friend to a double double and a fine day of hunting, after he helped Leo with a quick errand.  The two men had 1 errand to take care of before they start their fun day of defenseless slaughter.

After they shoved their face more with starch and red meat and threw away their John 3:16 cups, they got into their oversized Ford and drove off.

“I’m glad I sprung for the truck bed cover,” Leo said. “That way no one can see the fucking mess.”

Joe nodded in agreement as he poured bourbon from his flask into his fat gullet of a mouth, then began his struggle with the seat belt over his gut as Leo drove off.

As they started the engine, the thumping from the truck bed came back.

She had finally woken up, and if not for the gag in her mouth her piercing yet slightly purred screams would be enough to save her.   The speed of the car and the massive bumps in the road did not make the poor def girls dwindling life any easier.  She was tossed back and forth, up and down, slamming her already bruised and broken bones against the cold metal of the truck.  Joe and Leo laughed whenever they made a sudden stop and could still here her thumping and thrashing.

Eventually they got to their favorite hunting spot.  They got out of the truck smiling, filling their lungs with the fresh mountain air.

They then opened the back of the truck and grabbed her by the hair, dragging her out.

Her erratic shaking, kicking, and panic was a mix of cries and screams and struggle.

With rope binding every limb and joint of her body, and the cheap gag choking her, she squirmed on the ground crying.  Her tears and snot made the leaves and dirt stick to her chin and cheeks.

Leo didn’t hesitate to make sure that the last thing that the poor girl saw was his shovel swinging straight down onto her face.

After he caved in her face and buried her 7ft in the middle of the mountains, the two men enjoyed a pleasant day of beer and hunting.


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